100%? or 99%?

hey there.
you guys notice any difference?
i removed my post yesterday.

first,
im not that pissed anymore.
secondly,
im afraid of violating any forms of rules or offending anyone o_o

like my friend sultan said, it's a critical issue~
(:




so, it's either you read it yesterday, or no chance to read it
*laughs*

but one fact i mentioned yesterday still hold true.

my homework is freaking piling up=.=



that is so not a good sign...
at least not when you're in JC 2..
*sigh*

there are seriously so many movies i wanna watch
but it's either

(1) I got no time

(2) No idea who to find to watch with.




sad right?
*sigh*.


my time nowadays are all used on studying, doing tutorials, cca training and resting.
everday is like super packed.
and im trying to squeeze in a little bit of revision time here and there.
so that i'll not screw up the block test.

like they say, meet with any obstacles/challenges, it's either fight or flight
*laughs*

i wish i can choose the latter
but apparently i dont have a choice D:







anyway, my cca ex-captain chatted with me today.
struck another issue which sets me thinking again.


i was telling her that for trainings, sometimes i hold back and don't put in my 100% or more,
is because that im afraid that if i really put in every single burst of my energy, i'll be like a corpse when i reach home.

and that means homework piles up even more!
plus revision!


i hold back to reserve that little amount of energy so that when i reach home, at least i still can do some work.

and she goes,

"NO! dont hold back! You might regret one day.. erm..."


of course, i was like pretty stunned for the first few seconds.

so i kind of like explained to her, and she ends up saying

"might be because you know yourself too well. Afterall, diff people work differently. For me, i just chiong (put in ur best) for everything. But i think you're doing the right thing ba, continue it. Jiayou!"





confused?
ok, explaination goes.

i told her that im one of those who cant survive a day without sleep or without enough sleep.
If i do not get enough rest, next time most probably i'll :

-have a super foul temper

-Feel v v sleepy in lecture and class

-have no idea what the lesson/lecture is about

-even if i know what's going on, i cant seem to absorb in.




thats why she made that second comment.
and my reply to her was..


"sometimes i really wonder am i really doing the best/right/good thing for myself. Or am i just finding excuses for myself?"





kind of like contradict and ironic right.

i dont know about you guys, but at times i even full of doubts at myself.
and the more i think, it makes me more vexed and frustated.




personally, i still hold the stand that one should know himself/herself and then plan accordingly.

Know what you want and then go as planned.

different people will have different perspectives, different conclusions.
What matters most is still your own, because you're the one living your life.
Don't put too much doubts on yourself as i do, because it seriously does not help.


Life's about living to the fullest and enjoying every single second.
If everything is just full of doubts and questions that we have to look for answers constantly, isn't it a bit too tiring?








Cheers(: