had a weird dream yesterday night.
but it was nice, and sweet(:


at least,
it left me smiling when i woke up,
and gave me hopes again.
something i've not experienced for so long..




at that moment,
i seriously wished i had not woken up.
everything in it was so perfect.
so ideal.
so blissful.



P.S : i seriously think mind reading is so damn cool. i wish i possess that power. darn.

humans are really ironic.

things we should abstain from,
we go for it.

things we should go for,
we hold back.



When we don't have it,
we wish all the time we can have it.

When we have it,
we take it for granted.


Human nature?
i guess so.

at some instances,
i don't want to be so human.

greetings.
to whoever that happen to pass by this page.
no idea who still bothers to come here now ehs.
for the students,
it's like the "peak" period now.

Sec 4, J1, J2..
you name it, you got it.




*sigh*
nowadays,
it somehow feels like a bad sign whenever i come by to post smth up.
been for such a long period,
this place has always been my "outlet" for all my frustations/sorrows/unhappiness etc etc.
been such a long time positivity is not around.

hell yeah,
it's pathetic.


seriously,
I really don't like how things are like now.
not the the extent of hating,
but still, it's really causing me some really bad pain.

I feel like i'm nothing but an empty shell now.
yes, i've been trying to pour all the knowledge into my brain,
to get myself all ready and suit up for the big As,
but psychologically,
or maybe spiritually,
i just don't feel right.

in simpler terms,
I feel lost.
(yeah i know it's cliché, thanks if you sniggered just now.)



i know i've felt this before,
but i don't know if it was this bad previously.
do you know how it feels?
i mean seriously.
try imagining this.

like any other day,
you carry on your day with your normal schedule.
like maybe if you're a student,
you go to college, study, catching up with some friends, walk around the school looking at all the hunks and babes.
but,
while doing all these stuff,
you just don't have any particular strong feelings or to say, any particular feelings about it.
you're doing just for the sake of doing.
you feel nothing!

now, how does that sound?
well, that's what i'm gg through.
fun huh?



i don't know what's wrong.
err, ok, correction.
maybe i do know what's wrong,
but i just can't face up to it now.
what's bugging me has been bugging me for a long time.

something i have never managed to separate myself from,
and i've no idea when will i be able to do so.
soon i hope though, soon.


those who know me probably have an idea by now what am i talking about.
try figuring out if you have not.


you know what,
it's always so easy to help others,
to pull them out of whatever they are in,
and lend them a helping hand.

but any idea how hard it is to help yourself?
perhaps it's just me.

how nice it is,
for me to handle all this complexity.



i wish to go on,
but just can't seem to find the words to carry one anymore.
it's just hard to describe.
maybe it's about time for me to lie down on my bed and let some thinking run through.



if you're bored,
try this.

Look through your archives.
how do you feel?

for me,
how i wish i can have the joy in those days.


oh,
and how nice it will be,
if only i can look into the future.

who exactly will i be?

when you know you're losing out,
work doubly hard to put yourself back on even ground.
It's a practical world after all.





there are always multiple solutions to a problem,
just like how multiple perspectives one can developed on an event.
When Plan A doesn't work, go for Plan B.
the point is, don't forget what is your final goal,
so as long you reach there,
give yourself a pat on the back.
but remember, keep your conscience clear.


Lastly,
to be a great man doesn't require you to do a lot of right things.
Just do that few great things you'll come across,
commit less wrongs,
and when you committed it,
admit humbly and seek to resolve.
ciaos!

Friendship is like gold.
Leave it there and it gets dull.
Polish it well and frequent enough,
it shines like a piece of dazzling star.





How hard is it to make that one call?


so who are my friends?

backed for posting.
now that i've changed my url,
i've totally got no idea who visits this site anymore.
or perhaps no visits at all?
hmm.






so anyway,
spent the day mugging again.
yeah, so typical of me now.
what to do?
with prelims and A level come knocking on your doors,
you'll want yourself to be as prepared as possible ehs.

just wait till this is over,
and i'll show you how crazy can i be! =D

so anyway,
i was part daydreaming part reflecting just now ( i told you i'll come up with something soon didn't i )



so.
i was thinking back then,
too many of us have been living in our comfort zone ehs.
i mean,
look, we've so much gadgets available to us in the market,
each capable of changing our lives for the better.
then guess what.
we start to get use to all this,
taking it for granted and gradually, degrading.


perhaps,
mentally we've evolved to be much more superior than before,
but physically,
i don't think so.
V simply, just look at obesity rate.

Years ago, only the rich were obese.
Now, it's becoming a rising trend in KIDS,
which led me to think of my Prelim GP essay qn i did.

Life today for children have never been better.




we've been living in comfort for too long.
It's about them we move out,
and challenge ourselves.
Staying in your comfort zone you'll never be able to improve yourself.
constantly doing what you're familiar and good with,
so what if you master it?
it's still the same thing you're doing.


see those who succeed and those who don't.
what the latter lack,
is the determination and courage to leap out of their comfort zones.
so forever they are trapped within it.

go through the hardship
go through the obstacles
and i dare assure you,
you'll be rewarded.



what i've said above may sound cliché,
it may sound simple,
it may sound normal,
but i daresay
8 out of 10 will not be able to put that into their action.


will be you that unique 2?
or the majority 8?

a phrase i managed to pick up somewhere.



I trust everyone.
I just don't trust the devil in them.


it's true.
infer it yourself(:

anw,
it's time to gear up,
and charge.

work hard peeps.

Knowing you,
is a sweet torture.

damn!
prelims and A levels are so taking my life away!
can't do anything but mug.
hell lot worse than O levels i tell you.





trying imagining this.
if you're in my year,
2 years ago you'll be screaming,
"damn the O levels!"

now,
you'll be saying,
"Screw! I wish i can take O levels again instead of A levels!"

Fun ehs?



ohh yeah, forgot to add smth.
Prelims and A levels are taking my life away.
_ _ _ _ _ _ is taking all my focus away!
perhaps i don't know her well enough yet,
but right now, she's just like a fallen angel to me,
no joke.


gotta get back to studying soon.
Sorry about the lack of those really weird and sentimental periods i have,
when i'll post up some issues which made me think alot about,
and might be thought provoking to some of you.
I'm lacking the time to really reflect on my everyday life now to think of such issues.
and and,
i'm getting sentimental and emotional all over this girl c _ _ _ _ _,
and i guess nobody will be interested to look at my post when it's few pages long,
but all about her right.

yeah i feel you man~

but but but,
i guess i'll be writing on something soon enough.
some stuffs have been bugging me.
so yeah,
stay tuned.



Till then,
ciaos and takecare!


P.S : ohh yeah, i do miss her like crazy.

it feels good to really play your hearts out after so long.
gotta admit i still pretty much like badminton huh(:



and it's really maddening for the fact that
_ _ _ _ _ _ just keep on popping into my head every now and then.
can't believe i'm slowly starting to show a change because of _ _ _ _ _ _.
those who don't know me well enough will not understand what i say ehs.
i'm gg nuts!





gotta continue my mugging starting tomorrow.
Time's tight and lots of "compensation" to be done!
and and, i totally can't wait for A levels to be over and gone,
then i can put in no-matter-how-much-time-and-effort is needed to go for _ _ _ _ _ _.
yes,
i know i'm crazy now.

can't believe i'm getting lost and all distracted at this point of time.
i need a hand,
to pull me out of all this crap.

a ray of hope and light,
to guide me through all these uncertainty and doubts i'm facing.



ever felt you just can't seem to find the right out to depict your emotions?
guess what.
that's happening to me.

learn the hard way,
thus we shall remember.




a dancing angel in white. mesmerized i was.