thatpracperfectionist-yongliang.blogspot.com

greetings.
to whoever that happen to pass by this page.
no idea who still bothers to come here now ehs.
for the students,
it's like the "peak" period now.

Sec 4, J1, J2..
you name it, you got it.




*sigh*
nowadays,
it somehow feels like a bad sign whenever i come by to post smth up.
been for such a long period,
this place has always been my "outlet" for all my frustations/sorrows/unhappiness etc etc.
been such a long time positivity is not around.

hell yeah,
it's pathetic.


seriously,
I really don't like how things are like now.
not the the extent of hating,
but still, it's really causing me some really bad pain.

I feel like i'm nothing but an empty shell now.
yes, i've been trying to pour all the knowledge into my brain,
to get myself all ready and suit up for the big As,
but psychologically,
or maybe spiritually,
i just don't feel right.

in simpler terms,
I feel lost.
(yeah i know it's cliché, thanks if you sniggered just now.)



i know i've felt this before,
but i don't know if it was this bad previously.
do you know how it feels?
i mean seriously.
try imagining this.

like any other day,
you carry on your day with your normal schedule.
like maybe if you're a student,
you go to college, study, catching up with some friends, walk around the school looking at all the hunks and babes.
but,
while doing all these stuff,
you just don't have any particular strong feelings or to say, any particular feelings about it.
you're doing just for the sake of doing.
you feel nothing!

now, how does that sound?
well, that's what i'm gg through.
fun huh?



i don't know what's wrong.
err, ok, correction.
maybe i do know what's wrong,
but i just can't face up to it now.
what's bugging me has been bugging me for a long time.

something i have never managed to separate myself from,
and i've no idea when will i be able to do so.
soon i hope though, soon.


those who know me probably have an idea by now what am i talking about.
try figuring out if you have not.


you know what,
it's always so easy to help others,
to pull them out of whatever they are in,
and lend them a helping hand.

but any idea how hard it is to help yourself?
perhaps it's just me.

how nice it is,
for me to handle all this complexity.



i wish to go on,
but just can't seem to find the words to carry one anymore.
it's just hard to describe.
maybe it's about time for me to lie down on my bed and let some thinking run through.



if you're bored,
try this.

Look through your archives.
how do you feel?

for me,
how i wish i can have the joy in those days.


oh,
and how nice it will be,
if only i can look into the future.

who exactly will i be?